Alexa destroy god
- me walking into a cvs at midnight: i need to lift a curse
- employee: aisle 5
- me: thanks
idk why people say buyong condoms is awkward im getting pussy and u behind the counter now ring me up bitch and let me get a pack of gum fuck you
yeah bitch i’m buying condoms, so what
niggas always wanna front and get the dude at the register when buying condoms to hide embarrassment or something.
fuck that.
i go straight to the girl. if there isn’t a girl, i’m stealing the rubbers.
no bitch has ever successfully belittled me with her funny looks. never. it’s a game to me.
slam them Trojans on the counter. she looks down and sorta smirks and looks up at me and i’m looking at this bitch like i’m out for blood. like i’m an autistic nymphomaniac that hasn’t fucked in 90 days. the stare is always what gets them first like, “okay this nigga is not playing games, i better ring this up.”
but some of them keep going and try to bring you down harder by asking you facetious and sarcasm filled questions like “were you assisted at all today?” or “will that be all sir?” or “did you need help with anything else?”
‘yeah, where the hot sauce at?’
then they truly realize i’m really lookin for the chewin and i got 7 ounces of heroin shot in my veins.
i always leave before they tell me though. if it comes to that. but before i completely divert my gaze from her area, I nod slowly and subtly to let that bitch know i’m still in the hood and i’m still cookin and 15 somas could never relax the kid.
i really do this.
i’m really out here.
you jnow theres no proof that our teeth dont retract up into our gums every time we close our mouths
I can lick em
you dont know what those are